It's sad of me to use a Carpenter's song as a title for a blog post I should imagine but it's definitely apt. Thinking about it, how annoying is it that often we unwittingly compile the soundtrack to our own lives, playing particular songs in different given situations, and yet because life is not a Hollywood movie, no one else realises the significance of certain songs?
It's four in the morning and I'm waffling. I can't sleep as usual and although I didn't actually decide to post a blog, the mood suddenly took me.
The afore-mentioned song is about sorting one's life out once and for all after many pit-falls. Well, at least that's how I understand it. "It's going to take some time this time to get myself in shape...it's one more round for experience and I'm on the road again."
I'm not used to public frankness but maybe that's the point. If you had told me just twelve months ago I might be blogging about my mental health in the future I'd have thought the notion preposterous. Having said that, I'm normally so private, perhaps 'you' wouldn't exist.
I've had several breakdowns over the years. Some people reading this will know, some won't necessarily. I don't know which has been the worst in terms of how I have been left feeling but I suppose putting myself in hospital this year by overdosing is probably as serious as things have ever got.
And that's the point of this blog and its title. It IS going to take me time to recover, which has never been my strong point (time and patience) but when you get to the stage when you can frighten your loved ones half to death by attempting to bring about your own; well, that really does call for a change, I reckon. I've rushed into life as it had been before each troublesome episode and probably that was a big part of why each time I just set myself on another path towards my own semi-destruction yet again. So, this time it's going to take some time.
It's four in the morning and I'm waffling. I can't sleep as usual and although I didn't actually decide to post a blog, the mood suddenly took me.
The afore-mentioned song is about sorting one's life out once and for all after many pit-falls. Well, at least that's how I understand it. "It's going to take some time this time to get myself in shape...it's one more round for experience and I'm on the road again."
I'm not used to public frankness but maybe that's the point. If you had told me just twelve months ago I might be blogging about my mental health in the future I'd have thought the notion preposterous. Having said that, I'm normally so private, perhaps 'you' wouldn't exist.
I've had several breakdowns over the years. Some people reading this will know, some won't necessarily. I don't know which has been the worst in terms of how I have been left feeling but I suppose putting myself in hospital this year by overdosing is probably as serious as things have ever got.
And that's the point of this blog and its title. It IS going to take me time to recover, which has never been my strong point (time and patience) but when you get to the stage when you can frighten your loved ones half to death by attempting to bring about your own; well, that really does call for a change, I reckon. I've rushed into life as it had been before each troublesome episode and probably that was a big part of why each time I just set myself on another path towards my own semi-destruction yet again. So, this time it's going to take some time.
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