FILM REVIEW: Gravity (Contains Spoilers)

This film recently won Oscars. I can only assume that in order to win an Oscar all you need is to pay your visual effects dude far more than anyone else on the production because the only thing this movie had going for it was its visuals and even they got irritating after a while. As anyone who has ever ridden on the waltzers (or the teacups kiddies' version) at a fairground will know, there's only so much spinning about a person can take. God help us if Warner Brothers decide to turn this into a ride some day.

The plot was, in a nutshell, Sandra Bullock panics whilst everything goes wrong in space. Everyone but Sandra snuffed it. Not that there were many cast members. Some of them had even snuffed it already before they got to appear onscreen. Though both Bullock and Clooney are normally amongst my favourite actors, there wasn't really much they could do with this script except smile and cry in the right places.  

Bullock looked good (except in her first space suit): the scenes when she was floating about in her knickers on the Russian space station did at least give me something to aim for at the end of my current diet. And when she was telling a dead George Clooney she couldn't see to say hi to her also deceased daughter I did go "Aw." That's about it, though, for the good points. 

Even when poor old Sandra crashed onto earth she nearly drowned twice and I couldn't help but roll my eyes when in close-up she eventually felt the Gravity of the film's title try and stop her from standing up, no matter how jubilant the background music tried to make me. All in all, like the body of George Clooney's character, an hour and twenty minutes of my life have disappeared into the ether, never to be recovered. 

Don't buy the DVD. And breathe a sigh of relief that you didn't waste your money at the pictures.